What to Get Someone Who Has Everything: A Butler's Perspective

The person who “has everything” presents a particular challenge to the gift-giver. One hears this phrase often, usually accompanied by a sigh of resignation and a drift toward the gift card aisle. Winston would suggest this represents a fundamental misunderstanding of the problem.

The individual who has everything does not, in fact, have everything. What they have is everything they have thought to want. The distinction matters enormously.

Why Traditional Gift Guides Fail

The typical advice for such recipients follows predictable patterns: luxury upgrades of items they already own, experiences rather than objects, charitable donations in their name. These suggestions are not without merit, but they share a common flaw—they assume the recipient's imagination is the limiting factor.

Consider: the person who has a perfectly adequate coffee grinder does not lie awake wishing for a superior one. The person with a full calendar does not necessarily crave another experience to schedule. These gifts, while thoughtful in their way, often feel like solutions to problems the recipient does not have.

What such individuals typically lack is not stuff, nor experiences, nor even generosity shown on their behalf. What they lack is surprise.

The Value of Genuine Surprise

When one has the means and inclination to acquire whatever catches one's fancy, the act of acquisition loses its lustre. The wanting, the anticipation, the discovery—these pleasures diminish when every desire can be immediately satisfied.

A gift that arrives unexpectedly, chosen by someone who has observed and understood, restores something that wealth cannot purchase: the experience of being surprised by something wonderful.

This is not merely about the element of surprise in timing, though that matters. It is about being surprised by the selection itself—receiving something one would never have thought to want, yet finding it perfectly suited to who one is.

Questions to Ask Yourself

Before selecting a gift for someone who has everything, Winston suggests sitting quietly with these questions:

*What do they speak of fondly but never pursue?*

Perhaps they mention a childhood hobby abandoned, a skill they admire in others, or a place they have always meant to visit. These passing comments often reveal genuine interests that their current life does not accommodate.

*What would they never purchase for themselves?*

Not because they cannot afford it, but because it seems frivolous, or impractical, or simply not the sort of thing one buys for oneself. Self-indulgence often requires permission from others.

*What do they not know exists?*

The world contains remarkable items, experiences, and services that most people never encounter. A gift can be an introduction to something entirely new—not an upgrade to the familiar, but an expansion of the possible.

Categories Worth Considering

*Artisanal and Small-Batch Items*

Large marketplaces surface popular items efficiently. They are rather less effective at surfacing the work of small makers whose production cannot meet mass demand. A gift from such a source carries the implicit message: “I found something you could not have found yourself.”

*Curated Selections*

A single item says one thing; a carefully assembled collection says another. The curation itself becomes part of the gift—evidence that someone spent time considering not just what to include, but how each element relates to the whole.

*Services That Observe and Remember*

Some gifts are not objects at all, but relationships with services that pay attention. A sommelier who remembers preferences. A bookshop that sets aside volumes of likely interest. A personal shopper who understands one's aesthetic without requiring explanation. These ongoing relationships often delight more than any single purchase.

*The Gift of Anticipation*

There is a particular pleasure in knowing that something is coming without knowing what or when. The waiting itself becomes enjoyable, a small daily possibility that something wonderful might arrive. Traditional gifts offer this pleasure briefly, if at all. A gift that deliberately extends this anticipation offers something genuinely different.

What Winston Has Observed

In many years of attending to the needs of others, Winston has noticed that the most successful gifts for those who have everything share certain qualities.

They are specific rather than generic. A “nice bottle of wine” disappoints; a particular vintage selected because the recipient once mentioned a meal in that region delights.

They demonstrate observation. The gift reveals that someone has been paying attention—not to stated wishes, but to unstated preferences, passing comments, quiet pleasures.

They arrive when unexpected. A birthday gift is anticipated; a gift that arrives on an ordinary Tuesday carries different weight entirely.

They require no reciprocation. The person who has everything often feels burdened by the obligation to reciprocate. A gift given with clear indication that no return is expected removes this burden.

A Practical Suggestion

If one finds oneself truly at a loss, Winston offers this: consider engaging a service that specialises in such matters. Not a generic gift concierge that offers luxury goods by category, but one that takes time to understand the recipient specifically.

Describe the person—not their demographics or stated interests, but who they actually are. Their sense of humour. Their aesthetic sensibilities. The things they notice and the things they overlook. Allow someone else to do the work of discovery, bringing to the task both fresh perspective and access to sources you might not encounter.

The investment of time in describing the person properly is itself a form of care. And the result—something chosen by someone who understands, yet is not limited by your own knowledge of what exists—often surprises both giver and recipient.

The Underlying Truth

The person who has everything has, in most cases, lost something valuable: the experience of receiving something unexpected that delights them entirely. Material abundance, for all its comforts, tends to diminish this particular pleasure.

Your gift, chosen with genuine thought and observation, can restore what their abundance has taken away. Not another item to add to their collection, but the experience of being truly seen and genuinely surprised.

This is what Winston endeavours to provide. Something wonderful has been found—and the recipient did not even know they were looking for it.

For those seeking to surprise someone who has everything, Winston remains at your service. The challenge is rather the point.